Desperation Row

Before I tear into the Cubs, I’d like to say something nice about Jacque Jones. While he got off to an awful start, he’s been one of the few guys who’s stepped it up a notch offensively in the absence of Derrek Lee. In this miserable 15-game span since the Cubs’ last off-day, Jones is 18-for-51 (.353) and raised his average 85 points to a respectable .273. I’m still not crazy about his defense, and I’d still rather have Corey Patterson (17-for-44, .386 in the same span for Baltimore) as my third outfielder, but maybe he belongs ahead of Aramis Ramirez in the lineup for awhile.

So anyway…

There are a couple of metaphors for what the Cubs need to do at this point, and both of them involve trucks.

The first is, throw Dusty Baker under the truck. He said he wanted to manage young players? Well, look how it’s turning out. There’s still trouble with delayed pitching changes, such as leaving Glendon Rusch in long enough to give up six relief runs. Or batting sub-.200 hitters as table-setters. There’s a reason he’s been managing talented squads for 14 years without producing a World Series ring. He’s a good manager if he has a good team, but he’s not a great manager regardless of his roster.

It makes me wonder what Jack McKeon’s been up to lately, having, to mix metaphors, jumped ship before Joe Girardi took the helm of the Titanic down in Florida.

The second metaphor is, back up the truck. Even if everybody comes off the DL in shape and on time, the Cubs still aren’t playoff-worthy. There are too many malleable roster spots that aren’t producing or preventing enough runs, and c’mon, eleven out of twelve? How much longer can you sit and wait? There’s still time to right the ship, but the Cubs need to roll the dice and shake things up.

Start with today’s starting catcher, Henry Blanco. Okay fine, maybe a Bob Uecker gets by for a few years straddling the Mendoza line, but when you go 1-for-18 and your batting average only drops eight points, there’s a problem. There will always be teams needing a veteran backup catcher who can call pitches, and if he doesn’t bring another catcher or catcher/1B, Geovany Soto is batting .292 at Iowa with an OBP of .381 and might deserve a cup of coffee while the Cubs look for someone else to fill that gap.

I’ve also mentioned my preference for Augie Ojeda over Neifi Perez. Ojeda’s still batting .320 at AAA. Regardless of his career stats he’s simply having a better year, and a better year is what the Cubs need out of that roster spot.

Then there’s Freddie Bynum at .188. Bynum could use more seasoning and more at-bats to keep his legs fresh on the basepaths, averaging 40 steals a year in the minors. As long as the final outfield spot’s going to a borderline major-leaguer, outfielder Buck Coats is batting .362 at Iowa and Nic Jackson’s up over .400 at AA West Tennessee. Play the hot hand. Shake things up. See what happens.

In the bullpen, Glendon Rusch is looking more like the guy who’d been bounced from three organizations for pitching like he has this year. The pitching staff will be in flux with Kerry Wood’s return next week, and like the Blanco situation, there will always be teams out there who need a left-handed spot starter in their bullpen.

If you package Blanco and Rusch, maybe throw in one of the young pitchers like Angel Guzman, or one of the borderline guys like Freddie Bynum or Michael Restovich, maybe you can get a solid first-baseman who can bring you someone else if Derrek Lee comes back before the trade deadline.

In the end, how many historic losers can you see end their streaks before you stop considering .500 a successful year? I think we’ve seen enough.